First sentences
Inspired by ArtsJournal’s
blog post about Nabokov’s first sentence portraiture (reached via @Meanjin), I decided to engage in a little exercise. You’re all welcome to participate, and the rules are simple. Take however-many-you-like pieces of writing that you have lying around, and post their first sentences. Don’t just include the ones you think are good, give us a broad sampling. This is a learning exercise after all.
Here’s mine (culled from a selection of pieces that aren’t currently being sent around the place)
- “The firm is interested in hiring an enthusiastic graduate architect to work on the design and implementation of projects addressing residential, commercial, and industrial needs.”
- My girlfriend Lisa and I had just broken up.
- If everything went according to David’s plan, March the 5th would be the day he walked down the street from his house with nothing at all.
- It was a moonless night, and the shadows swarmed around Cian’s boots as she ran through the forest.
- George’s fingers skirt the rim of the lubricant jar before reaching down to coat the rubber methodically.
- It was approximately half-past eleven on a Saturday evening and Brendan was thinking about his cat.
- We began our search for the particles at a public bar, scanning the length of the room and recording the apparent personalities of each visitor.
I think you’ll agree that there are very few entries in that list that achieve a portrait such as Nabokov did. We are constantly being told that the first line of any story must be a hook to catch the reader’s eye (and here I’m reminded of Margaret Atwood’s lovely poem), but perhaps only three of the above are hooks, introducing an idea that isn’t qualified within the same sentence (for the record, I’m thinking of 3, 5, and 6). Taken out of context, there isn’t much to the rest of them, appearing as mere statements of a fact. I can see the reader in my mind’s eye, arching a perfect eyebrow and asking me very pointedly, “So?”.
Well, so, I’ve got to think a little harder about my first sentences. How about you? Leave a comment or if you indulge in a similar post, link me through. I’d love to see what people might learn from this exercise.


