tooth soup

Today was a very weird day.
To set the scene for this particular discussion I’m going to give you a bit of background. My parents have been split up for quite a long time now, since I was five. I’ve never really had a dad and I’ve never really needed one as far as I’m concerned. [Incidently I'd like to take a moment and assure everyone that it is not necessarily true what they say about growing up with a strong willed mother as your sole parent - I'm not gay].
Anyway I talk to my dad on and off. He rings when he wants to catch up which is usually every fortnight or so. And that’s pretty much the extent of my relationship with him. He’s my ‘biological father’ and that’s as much as I’ve ever had. The only thing I really remember about him being at home was the fights and the yelling. Sounds cliche I know, so sue me. I mean, I know for a fact that there were fun times but I guess I just don’t remember them.

Right now he’s in town to see a doctor about his heart, he’s getting a triple bypass in about a week or so. He’s usually up north working. And he wanted to see us all while he was here. Normally I pretty much just glide through these little sessions of him visiting by being what I normally am – quiet, reserved and prone to disappearing out of rooms silently. This time however it was me and Matt in a house with Dad. And for some reason (probably the fact that Dad was there) he wasn’t talking to Dad much (and he was being a condescending asshoel to me – if you read this Matt, I’m probably still slightly pissed at you for that). So I basically had to handle Dad on my own. Not something I’ve ever done before.

Surprisingly enough to me, we talked a lot. Just chat, nothing really memorable. But it was the first tiem I’d really considered him as a person, not as an…I suppose the closest word is ‘object’. I listened, he talked, I talked, he listened. And some sort of strange empathy evolved. Nothing can wipe away the fact that he has done some extremely bad things to hurt me and my family, but there is some sort of understanding I have now that he at least has some recognition for what he did. And maybe he’s even repentant for his actions. But I’ll probably never find out. We don’t even know why he left yet.

In other news I’d like to declare The Eels album ‘Shootenanny!’ my pick of the month. It’s sat in my car three days straight now and I’m still rocking out to it. Also, Star Ocean on the SNES is the best game I’ve played for a long time. And I just about creamed myself when I saw the videos for Burnout 3 last week. Can you say ’204 miles per hour headlong into a semi’? Going to be one hell of a game.

Also, for all you people who like the kind of technology that makes you say ‘Hey cool that’s going to be awesome’ , try this on.

Oh and I’ve uploaded an alpha of a new sequence I’m working on in Buzz machines. So if you want to have a listne and suggfest places where I can take it, go to http://home.iprimus.com.au/penglish/fuzzycoolalpha2.wav. It’s about 2 meg.

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