96%
by phill
(pic via wiki since photodropper is borked with 2.5 atm)
Last weekend was highlighted by many things: Super Scrabble (quadruple word score bitchezzz), beer, sleeping, playing video games, a particularly good visit to the W.C., the exciting list of my life goes on. However, there was one occurrence that eclipsed the others like a bloated meteor readying itself to extinguish earth in one mighty glomp.
96% alcohol.
Jennifer, my good friend from way back when I used to work at the evil empire (Yeah, that asterisk they use as their corporate logo? That stands for the everything they wish to conquer in their path) held a catch-up drinks session over at her house on Saturday evening. It was good, though the numbers of employees that I actually used to work with is dwindling rapidly, there’s only Jennifer left there, now that Erin has gone. But I got to drink and make fun of teenagers, so I take the night as an overall win. However, the highlight reel should only really show one instance, and that is Jen bringing out a bottle of highly illegal Polish Vodka (and believe me, that capital ‘V’ is necessary) which, surprisingly, read 96% alcohol on the side. I, being the eternal skeptic that I am, decided that to test whether this was actually the real deal or just a misinterpretation of the ‘proof’ system that we use here in Australia, took a swig.
Oh. God. My. Throat.
yeah, ti was rrrelal. adn somehwher betweewn mi heaadd adn mi facec myy brian hadd jsut splodded. It was intense, and I ended up having to wait a good few hours before I could safely (well, close to safely anyway, my parking job the next morning wasn’t nearly as perfect as I had imagined it that night before) drive home. The next morning the burning in the back of my throat continued, and I had a headache of the same magnitude as last felt when I consumed an entire bottle of Wild Turkey by myself. The rest of Sunday was spent doing things that wouldn’t hurt my head so much when I breathed, and I vowed never to touch northern European alcohol again (until November, when I’ll visit). The only upside I can take out of this, is that when I do eventually head to Europe later this year, if some reckoning Polish gives me a drink to test my Australian drink-holding capacity with his special brew, I’ll be sure to tell him where he can stick it.
Then take a swig anyway.
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Comments
Haha, I’ve always wanted to try absinthe — another European thing, I think. It’s supposed to be something spectacular, and sounds better than Polish vodka (no offense to the Polish).
Did you get my letter?
I have tried absinthe as well, and it had much the same effect on me, though admittedly I was already pretty far gone that night. I don’t think it was ‘proper’ absinthe though, with the wormwood and whatever else is present in it to give it its supposed hallucinogenic properties.
Haven’t received your letter yet, but it’s had all weekend to fly over and get sorted so hopefully this week (:
Who won at Super Scrabble Phill?? Huh, huh?? ;-)
Sigh, yoouuu diiiiid Daaaanieeeeeel.
But honestly, farcie?